Judge In Enoch Burke Case Asks To Be Referred To As ‘Them’ For The Laugh


ENOCH Burke’s latest appearance at the high court descended into chaos even faster than usual, after the presiding judge introduced himself with ‘Hi I’m Judge Derek Wilson, they/them’, purely just to see if he could wind the Burke family up to the point where they spontaneously combust.

Burke was accompanied to court by his mother and father, as well as his siblings Ammi, Elijah, Esther, Keren, Dave, Dee, Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch, and treated those in attendance to the following:

– Several Burkes collapsed to the ground screaming ‘police brutality’ despite no gardaí being in the court chambers at the time.

– Slowed down audio of the proceedings has revealed that the Burkes aren’t even bothering to shout protests any more, and most of them are just repeating ‘rhubarb rhubarb rhubarb’ over and over.

– The family have been asked where in the Bible does it say anything about transgendered people, prompting them to claim that they are being ‘bookily harassed’.

– ‘Who gave them nunchuks?! Who gave them nunchuks?!’. Chaotic scenes breaking out here.

– The Burkes have now broken down into feral, guttural snorts and wails after sensing the presence of a gay person somewhere in the vicinity.

The court proceedings wrapped up early as the Burkes had nine other court appointments to disrupt today.