Xi Jinping Visits Putin, And Perhaps You Should Visit Your Estranged Parents

ALTHOUGH the world cannot be certain as to what Chinese leader Xi Jinping is talking about to Russian premier Vladimir Putin during their meeting today, we can be certain about what you need to be talking about to your estranged loved ones before it’s too late.

If you haven’t spoken to your mum and dad in years because of a falling out you had over something that hurt you all incredibly deeply, consider reaching out to them in a bid to mend your relationship. Life is short, perhaps shorter than you may think.

A brother, a sister, a once-close friend that you are no longer in communication with due to an ‘unforgivable’ incident in the past? Perhaps it’s not as unforgivable as you may think. Get in contact and see what you can do in the time that may be left to us.

Or maybe you’re the parent, perhaps your son or daughter broke your heart and shattered your family, and you haven’t spoken to them since. Is this how you want things to end? Wouldn’t you rather be the bigger person and mend these fences before the sun sets on us all for the last time?

And is there a boss or a co-worker that you’ve always wanted to sit down with and tell them to their face that they’re a cunt now and they’ll be a cunt to the end, that you’ve hated working with them and you’re delighted that the silos are about to open and let loose a barrage of missiles that will end the failed project that is mankind’s existence once and for all, because at least in a nuclear winter you won’t have to listen to them nitpick the pettiest of petty shit on a daily basis.

It’s not too late. Reach out and tell someone you love them or indeed hate their stinking guts, before Vlad and Xi hit the vodka and nuke Taiwan for the craic.