Green Party To Dispose Of Neasa Hourigan Before Next Brown Bin Collection

THE Green Party has threatened Neasa Hourigan with compostification if she insists on voting against the government yet again, this time in an upcoming Dáil motion on ending the eviction ban, giving the Dublin Central TD until the next brown bin collection to make up her mind if she’s with them or not.

Although most parties would simply expel an unruly TD from their ranks, the Greens are adamant that all compostable material should be disposed of in an ecologically sound way, as they haven’t thrown all of their principles out the window just yet.

“It’s recycling this week, so that means she has until next Wednesday when the brown bin lorry comes round,” said a spokesperson for the Greens, who are ‘mortified’ that one of their members is ‘showing them up’ once again in front of the senior coalition parties.

“There’s been dozens of instances since we went into government with Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael where we’ve had to just ignore our own party manifesto and do as we’re told, so we can’t see why deputy Hourigan can’t just play ball this one more time. And on the eviction ban, Jesus Christ of all the things she could be against. Doesn’t she know how many of these lads are also landlords!?”

Hourigan has yet to comment on the threats, but is believed to be distancing herself from government so that she can run as an independent with the slogan ‘hey look, I tried’ in the next general election.