Dark Day In America When You Can’t Use Campaign Funds To Pay Porn Star Hush Money & Then Lie About It

THE GREY clouds of somber indignation dominate American skies today as rumours circulated by reliable source Donald Trump indicate former US president Donald Trump could be arrested this week, in effect bringing at end the great democracy once the envy of the world.

“I don’t recognise this country anymore,” said one sobbing American, weighed down by the terrifying realisation that if Donald Trump can be indicted for illegally using campaign funds to pay hush money to the porn star he had an affair with and then subsequently try to fraudulently write it off as ‘legal fees’ then anyone could be.

Avid students of American democracy have intimated that the day a former president is arrested for a crime they most certainly committed is a day that will go down as the darkest in the country’s history.

“And I’m including the day they changed the recipe for Coca Cola, and when Avatar didn’t win best picture at the Oscars,” one historian confirmed.

Reacting to the possibility of his arrest, Trump did what any innocent person does and took to his Truth Social platform begging his followers to ‘protest’ and ‘take our nation back’ before clarifying “No, I said lock HER up”.

“Hey man, this really sounds like a ‘you problem’ and plus, I work weekdays so I can’t make it,” confirmed one die-hard Trump follower, who is less die-hard with each passing day.

Elsewhere, the livestreaming of Trump’s arrest has been picked up by DAZN and is set to be the most lucrative pay-per-view event in history.