Salt Bae Rushed To Hospital With Salter’s Elbow
GOLD steak pioneer Salt Bae is fighting for his life in hospital after what medics are calling the first ever and most severe case of salter’s elbow they’ve ever encountered, WWN can reveal.
“You’ve no idea the demands on the human elbow, especially if that elbow is attached to the preeminent flicker of salt in the world,” Dr Jeremy Sterns, who first treated Salt Bae (real name Salt Bae) when he was rushed to hospital.
“Just when you think you’ve ripped off your final idiot of a customer that evening by throwing a bit of salt on an overpriced steak then a last minute table for 8 comes in, Bae is a professional so he just couldn’t say no even though the tendons in his arm now had the consistency of mushy peas,” shared one distraught waiter at one of Bae’s Nusr-Et restaurants.
While a bionic elbow is among the options being considered by doctors at the 24-Karat Gold Scared Heart Hospital, there are fears that bionic elbow technology is still in its infancy and cannot replicate Bae’s signature salt flick.
“We don’t want to mess with a man’s career, this is the guy who studied 8 years at salt college to learn his trade. We fuck up the elbow repair and it might as well be the end of his life,” explained surgeon Dr Lorena Diaz.
“Sure robotics and AI can replace a variety of professions but if there’s one profession that is impervious to the speedy march of the AI revolution it’s flicking salt”.