Time Traveler From The Future Didn’t Think He’d Have To Spend All Day Making Tik Tok Videos


CURSING the app for yet again cutting the sides off his latest text heavy future prediction Tik Tok, time traveler Toby Trent longed for his home era, wondering ‘how in the name of fuck’ he ended up like this.

“Go back to 2023, they said. You’ll change the world, they said. Yet here I am trying to crack a schizophrenic algorithm to warn the planet about its up-and-coming demise,” the son-of-two muttered to himself, finally getting his animated wording aligned so it’s not hidden by those stupid floating icons littering his screen. “Jesus Christ, these morons sure are primitive,” he added, instinctively trying to use his AI mind-chip to type out of habit.

Accepting a planet-saving mission just two months ago – but in the year 2058 – Trent was voted in by viewers of a popular reality Metaverse series called ‘Help! We’re All Going To Die’ in a last attempt by survivors to change the past.

Titling the video GRETA IS THE ANTICHRIST – SHE MUST BE STOPPED AT ALL COSTS, Trent deleted what he was writing, knowing full-well how it would come across in today’s society.

“Flowery bunch; these lot,” he rightly thought, “I’ll just write some cryptic one liners over stolen stock photos and stick eerie music over it – that should do the trick.

“Sure, I could say future Thunberg wipes out entire nations killing billions of people who refused to abandon fossil fuel use, but no, best go down the incredibly vague poetic quatrain route as documenting the exact detail of the future would look ridiculous.

“Besides, I’ve 3 million followers now and making an absolute mint from brand collaborations,” he concluded.