Praying For Property Crash Just About The Only Hope Of Buying A Family Home

AN APOCALYPTIC housing crash not seen since the bygone days of 2008 could be the only thing that could help the average Irish family afford a modest home of their own, WWN can report.

“If something happens that causes property prices to plummet like they did in 2009, 2010 or so, then there’s a very good chance that the money we have saved for a deposit might actually be enough for a 2-bedroom semi-detached in the commuter belt around Dublin,” said one hopeful couple we spoke to on the matter.

“Will either of us have a job after such a crash? Probably not. So would we be able to afford the mortgage? Not for long. But it would be nice, if only for a little while, to have a place we could call our own. Just a glimpse of what that life would be. It’s amazing that our only hope is the economic downfall of western civilisation, but here we are”.

The new findings come as Minister for Housing Darragh O’Brien rejected warnings that a new government housing scheme would drive up house prices, a statement that experts say ‘almost guarantees’ that the new government scheme will drive up house prices’.

“If the Minister for Housing tells you there’s no sign of rain, bring a coat,” WWN were told by one think-tank, before adding that those praying for an economic catastrophe wouldn’t be waiting much longer.