Ukraine Sells Banksy Murals To Buy Surface To Air Missiles

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THE UKRAINIAN defence forces have confirmed a fresh order of surface to air missiles after its fast-acting government sold seven new Banksy murals which the elusive artist erected around Ukraine.

The famously illusive artist painted several murals in Ukraine including a ballerina defiantly dancing amid the rubble in Borodyanka, which was promptly cut out from the building with a road saw and sent to an auction house to be put up for sale.

“I thought a ballerina on the side of a building destroyed by Russian shelling was a lovely composition, but when I heard how much art collectors paid for this Banksy stuff I thought it like to see what we could compose with some missiles,” shared Ukrainian leader Volodymyr Zelenskyy.

“We’re quids in!” explained head of artillery procurement at the Ukrainian army, as they tuned into a Sotheby’s auction via Zoom.

The auctioneer reminded those in attendance that while cash bids were acceptable, anyone paying in National Advanced Surface-to-Air Missile Systems would receive preferential treatment when it came to bidding.

“Come on guys, this is a genuine Banksy. What’s the opening bid?” the auctioneer said, losing his patience with a bidder who tried to pay in thoughts and prayers.

Elsewhere, Banksy has unveiled a number of murals on buildings around Ireland. Sheepish local councillors have been left redfaced by the gesture but thanked Banksy before informing him that none of the towns in question have been bombed, they just look like this.