Government Propose Paying Childcare Providers In Play-Doh

MINISTER for Deaf Ears Roderic O’Gorman has suggested making a shortfall in core funding for smaller childcare providers in Play-Doh after 500 ECCE childcare service providers closed for the day in protest at a lack of financial supports.

“But you can make loads of cool things out of it. Look I made a fully functioning early childhood education sector. I didn’t have enough Play-Doh for core funding that actually covers costs but you’ll figure it out,” offered O’Gorman, in no way troubled by the fact that 80 providers closed for good this year along with 77 in 2019, 77 in 2020 and 62 in 2021.

While Play-Doh is a durable and fun arts and crafts material which can help ignite a child’s imagination, it is not thought it can be used in place of a funding system which sees small providers lose Higher Capitation and support payments which when combined with rising energy costs puts many at risk of closing for good.

“I honestly thought you’d be more grateful,” confirmed the Minister for Deaf Ears who, as in the case with Mother and baby Home survivors and NGOs housing Ukrainian refugees, stands accused of not listening to childcare providers’ concerns.

“Hey childcare is for learning not concerning. Anyway, I don’t know what the big deal is, Ireland is famous for an abundance of free childcare places. It’s not like we’d really suffer if a few hundred more small ones shut down in the coming years”.

UPDATE: The Dept of Children has asked parents inconvenienced by the closures to direct their anger towards childcare providers if they’re looking for someone to blame.