Dublin Bus Unveil First Monster Bus


SWIFTLY responding to a video circulating of one of their buses mounting a path to avoid traffic congestion, Dublin Bus has confirmed a new addition to its fleet.

“It’s on a trial basis at first but if it’s successful we’ll convert the whole fleet,” said a Dublin Bus spokesperson unveiling a number 16 monster struck bus with 1,500 horsepower.

“Chockablock during the school run? No problem, this lad will easily navigate through traffic and save journey time by flattening the fuck out of everything in its path,” explained the spokesperson, who was barely audible during a test run through Terenure, such was the volume of screams from motorists below.

The innovation in public transport will require passengers to initially scale the 12 foot distance up to the bus doors but plans are underway to convert some of the stops to be fitted with trampolines to make it easier.

Reacting to claims that a fleet of monster trucks that crush motorists to death as they sit in their cars, the Dublin Bus spokesperson grew visible frustrated.

“Jesus, we can’t win with you people. ‘Oh the bus is never on time’, ‘where’s the bus?’, ‘that bus mounted the path to get to the next stop quicker, it’s a disgrace’, ‘the monster truck flattened my granny’. Honestly, can you hear yourselves?”