Zuckerberg Insisting On Announcing Mass Layoffs In Metaverse Meeting


RUMOURS persist that Meta, the parent company of Facebook, are set to announce largescale layoffs but now WWN sources can confirm Mark Zuckerberg is insisting on delivering the news via group meeting in his virtual reality metaverse.

“Mark I reaaally don’t think staff will like this,” said one PR exec, pleading with Zuckerberg to announce layoffs in person. Layoffs deemed necessary as Meta stock tanks due to a lack of confidence in Zuckerberg’s vision and the minor issue of Facebook being the worst.

“What do you mean, we just spent $250 million on getting my avatar to shed a single tear. I think people being made unemployed will appreciate the extra touch,” countered Zuckerberg who has refused to take off his Occulus Rift VR headset since January of this year.

“No I don’t mean the redundancies, they’ll get over that but the pain of forcing them to use your stupid ‘Sims for Simpletons’ rip off metaverse is a trauma that will last a lifetime,” explained the PR exec.

HR management have sided with Zuckerberg claiming the lifeless dead-behind-the-eyes demeanour of his metaverse avatar is an upgrade on the Meta CEO’s human self.

“What’s cooler than the metaverse?” Zuckerberg asked, “employees will be so amazed by it they’ll completely forget they’re being fired, just like I’m so distracted by the metaverse I haven’t noticed the fact Meta stock has lost 72% of its value this year”.

Elsewhere in the tech world, the job losses continue at Twitter as Elon Musk fired himself as CEO after he insisted on using an algorithm to identify the dumbest people working at the company.