M50 Held Up For 2 Hours This Morning Because Of This Dipshit

DUMBNUTS motorist Mark Finn has apologised to the thousands of men and women that were left stuck in gridlocked traffic on Dublin’s M50 this morning following a collision that he was 100% to blame for, although he added that it’s not his fault that the entirety of Leinster grinds to a halt whenever there’s a fender bender.

The beeping and honking from motorists affected by the totally-avoidable blunder could be heard from as far away as Longford, while Mr. Finn could do nothing except shrug half-heartedly while sitting in his wrecked Audi.

“Okay, I tried to change lanes without checking the mirror and got clipped by a car in the middle lane sending them into the left and me into the right, freezing all southbound M50 traffic from junction 9 back to the airport for two whole hours – my bad,” offered Finn, whose insurance premium quadrupled in a matter of milliseconds.

“Was I on my phone while driving too fast and attempting a complicated manoeuvre without looking or indicating? Yes. Should the actions of one dipshit cost the nation tens of thousands of manhours of productivity on a near-daily basis? No, of course it shouldn’t. But until they build a second M50 just for us morons, these things are going to continue to happen”.

Finn’s pleas for clemency in the matter went unheeded by the thousands of people who he inconvenienced this morning, with one irate motorist stating ‘whoever caused this better have died in the process’ when Google Maps informed them that their usual 45-minute commute was now two hours.