World Wondering If It’s Time To Tell Britain They’re Too Old To Believe In Monarchy


THERE comes a time in everybody’s life when their parents sit them down and break the news that there are no such things as kings or queens, princes or princesses, with the world now believing that this may be the time for British people to hear the truth – but who’s going to tell them?

“It’s one thing for them to still believe in a monarchy when they’re at home but imagine when they go out into the real world talking about ‘your Highness’ this and ‘his Majesty’ that. They’re still in fantasy land, God love them,” said a spokesperson for the UN at today’s specially convened ‘break it to the Brits’ meeting.

“We thought that they’d grow out of it themselves; with the divorces and the deaths and the tampon letter, but they still believe that there are real-life kings and queens and it’s all magical and normal. I say we tell them now, before it gets out of hand”.

Furthermore, some experts suspect the British ‘know rightly’ that the monarchy isn’t a real thing but are simply just playing along to see what they can get from the world – like a coming-of-age child who already knows about Santa but doesn’t want to lose out on expensive presents.

“I suppose the ability to pay off sexual accusers and travel the world willy-nilly in private jets while giving out about greenhouse gasses will be a hard one to give up,” concluded the UN, opting to wait for another little before rubbishing this nonsense.