Man Would Murder An Unsanctioned Illicit Good Friday Pint Right Now


ONE SEASONED Waterford imbiber with memories of the good old days when you couldn’t get a lick of a pint remains steadfast in his opinion that things just aren’t the same now, WWN can reveal.

“I need to feel like I’m getting away with something,” explained local man Rory Nearnon, to several younger friends who have only known perfectly legal Good Friday sessions in pubs.

“It’s absolutely ruined now – I can just walk into any off licence, did you know you could only drink on trains or you’d book a flight somewhere just for the airport pints,” recalled Nearnon, who at 25 was relic from a different more simpler sessioning time.

Irish drinking experts have confirmed that as much as 40% of a night out’s fun can be traced back to the ‘divilment’ factor involving drinking in bushes, drinking underage or turning the lights off in the pub in a panic during a lock in when the guards are driving by.

The fun factor rose to a further 80% on Good Friday when anyone taking a swig of alcohol felt like a beer baron during prohibition times in America.

“And don’t get me started on this new 6am closing time lark, it’s getting to the point where a decent man like myself can’t get his buzz on via a law-breaking lock-in at all at all. Country’s gone to the dogs,” confirmed a sad Nearnon, sipping his joyless, legally sanctioned pint.