Irish Whistleblowers Only Audible To Dogs

A STUDY carried about by leading audiologist have made a startlingly discovery when closely monitoring Irish people seeking to make protected disclosures about failing in State bodies, finding that whistle-blowers are only audible to dogs.

“This study will come as a huge relief to those people who put their neck on the line and risked careers to highlight illegality and malpractice who thought they were being met with a wall of callous silence. Fret no more, there isn’t some sinister closing of the ranking, it’s just you speak at a frequency undetected by human ears,” explained audiologist Michael Deasy.

The study has the potential to change everything we know about Irish whistle-blowers and Irish society’s attitude to accountability.

“Previously you could have categorised the ignorance of people in positions of power and responsibility as wilful, but it turns out when you’re desperately trying to highlight wrongdoing it’s just an inaudible screech that sounds like nails on a chalkboard,” added Deasy, who has worked out how to transcribe the dog comprehensible noise.

The fallout from the study could also see well established phrase ‘even the dogs in the street know’ to ‘only the dogs in the street know’.

“This would be to reflect that status quo loving, scandal hiding officials in the highest offices and positions were never to blame as despite making every effort to be open to whistle-blowers, what was needed all along was a dog translator,” explained one official, delighted to learn all those emails where whistle-blowers he deleted or ignored wouldn’t come back to bite him.