CREW members of the International Space Station have been advised to ‘keep the windows up and not hang around’ when flying over Dublin, following a spate of upper-atmospheric anti social behaviour, WWN can report.
Damage to the side of the orbiting craft has been put down to rocks, used batteries and eggs that have been launched from the Dublin region at the ISS craft, presumably after youths in the area became bored with pelting trains, fire engines and ambulances.
It’s believed that the new trouble may have started after one astronaut on board the ISS posted a pic on social media of Dublin from 400km up with a heartfelt message, which antagonised some locals who thought he was ‘starting’ on them.
“Take a picture of this, ye space prick” roared one young lad this evening, sending a half-filled bottle of Boost energy drink into the heavens using a rudimentary launching device made up of two e-scooters running at full whack.
“Fuck off out of it, you cosmic dickheads” chanted a crowd of assembled youths, as they assembled another salvo of debris to be sent space-ward using a load of fireworks they’d bought off a lad in town.
The current antagonism towards the ISS is second time that NASA had to deal with unruly Irish kids, following an incident a few years ago where Cmdr. Chris Hadfield had posted from space about how much he loved Ireland, prompting large gangs to demand that he ‘say it to their fuckin’ faces’ when he got back to earth.
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