Local Man Anouncing He’s Out Of ‘Facebook Jail’ Like He’s One Of The Birmingham Six


AFTER spending a grand total of 30 days behind virtual bars in one of the toughest months in known history, local man Mark Stapleton emerged from social media confinement to address an assembled press of family and friends, all waiting patiently for a status update on his incredible journey.

“For thirty days, I’ve been used as an example and locked away the by Big Tech elite for a meme I did not create,” Stapleton wrote, surprisingly emotional for someone who simply couldn’t post on his Facebook account over a racist image he shared on one of his many right-wing Facebook pages, “I watched my weekly engagement figures die while my followers desperately attempted to contact me. Today I’m a free and innocent man and out of Facebook jail, but vow to never stop fighting the system”.

Following his sudden post, Stapleton’s bewildered friends rushed to support the 44-year-old, leaving messages of hope and praise, calling for some kind of answer to his ban.

“Never even noticed, mate,” replied one soon-to-be former friend, who also liked the post with a laughing emoji, “you’d swear you were one of the Birmingham six the way you’re going on, lad”.

“You posting racist shit again, Mark?” sister of the ex-Facebook con, Theresa Stapleton said, referring to his permanent Twitter and Instagram bans for harassing foreign nationals. “Cop on to yourself ya clown and get a fucking job, will ya? Mam was asking why you weren’t replying to your messenger, could you not have rang her on the phone?”

Relishing in the overwhelming support, the full-time son-of-two decided it best to delete his Facebook jail release post ‘in case Zuch sees it and tries silencing him again’, stating the move was nothing to do with the now lengthy thread of piss-taking comments, many denouncing him as a ‘fucking dope’.

Elsewhere, Facebook was allowed to keep its Facebook account despite helping to facilitate the Myanmar government’s ethnic cleansing of Rohingya Muslims.