BREAKING: Delusional Nation Under The Impression Drunk People Are Responsible


THE IRISH nation was left a little bit disappointed with itself today following the realisation that drunk people are incapable of sticking by the rules, WWN has learned.

The delusional observers looked on in disgust at themselves after dozens of social media pictures revealed that drunk people are actually terrible at a lot of things, including driving, queuing, being quiet entering a house in the early morning hours and social distancing 2 metres apart in a bid to stop one of the most dangerous epidemics of this century.

“Yeah, funny, that,” everyone exhaled in unison, realising now that also kicking every inebriated person out of pubs and restaurants at the same closing time to queue for take away food and taxi’s was probably a stretch too far, in fairness to them.

“We should probably look at that take away pint system, letting restaurants act like pubs, obvious stuff like expecting people to obey the law when they’re drunk, now that we think about it.

“Oh yeah! Drunk people are actual dickheads. How did we forget this?” the nation added, almost cringing at its own stupidity. “But look, at least everyone had a great night”.

Meanwhile, health experts have agreed that there may be some previously unknown link between drinking and leaving all inhibitions out the window, stating that drink seems to almost promote social activity among humans while also somehow compartmentalising common sense.

“It seems like when drink is in, sense is out,” one expert concluded, quite chuffed with himself.