“I’m Not Just A Piece Of Meat”

WWN speaks exclusively to the man at the centre of so many WhatsApp group interactions and big mickey based tomfoolery, professional porn actor, Darius Clement.

Clement speaks candidly about his newfound status as an internet meme and legend, and how he isn’t a piece of meat to be used as part of people’s funny internet pranks.

“It’s hard being the face and penis of people’s trust issues. You clicked in innocence, in search of information on Covid-19 and all you got was my big ‘ol dick. I get it, but please spare a thought for me during this trying time I didn’t choose this life,” Clement sobbed.

It was admittedly odd to see Clement fully clothed, but it helped to bring home the reality of the toll this latest social media and messaging app trend has had on him.

“My entire life to this point my penis only brought pleasure and arousal, now it causes people to shout ‘motherfucker, I’ve been tricked again’ in anger,” he continued.

“It’s not ideal to ‘go viral’ in the age of a devastating viral disease. For a man with an enormous penis, my therapist tells me my self-esteem is shockingly low now.”

In a final plea to internet users, Clement asked people to think of the person behind the intimidatingly large member.

“And just in case people are angry at me for all this. I didn’t ask for any of this. I’ve suffered as a result of this too. The love of life, my ex-fiance got in touch with me on WhatsApp, we hadn’t spoken for years. She texted ‘reasons I want to get back together’ but when I clicked it, it turned out it was just that same image of me naked. I had been tricked too,” Clement concluded while tucking his penis into his sock and walking out the door in floods of tears.