Scientists Research Harnessing Irish Public’s Apathy As Source Of Electricity


IN A BID to ensure the world has an over abundant, never-ending supply of electricity scientists have begun investigating whether it is possible to harness the Irish public’s general sense of apathy towards any issue of real substance and convert it into an energy source.

First becoming aware of the Irish public’s apathy some years ago, a group of German scientists have posited that were this complete disengagement and disinterest to be capitalised upon and transformed into electricity, it could revolutionise where the entirety of the planet sources its electricity from.

Despite protests and campaigns being waged and groups being set up in the face of innumerable systemic problems and calamities, the scientists discovered that the people involved in pushing for justice, parity and society wide improvements made up a small minority of the Irish population.

“In lab conditions we replicated the most egregious things politicians have done, the most harrowing scandals to emerge from large unaccountable Irish organsations and hooked the average voter up to fancy machines, to see their reactions. What we found was astonishing,” confirmed Dr. Helmut Krohns.

“The more severe, unfair and violently damaging the occurrence, the more the test subjects shrugged their shoulders. If that high level of passivity could to converted into a high voltage jolt of electricity we could power a city like New York, Berlin or Rio for years,” Dr. Krohns, added excitedly.

While only in the early stages, Dr. Krohns and his team believed they are the verge of being able to convert a single ‘so, what do you expect me to do about it?’ into 1 megawatt, but of greater interest is harnessing ‘ah sure, they didn’t raise income tax they’re alright by me’ or ‘it was a different time then’ with these dismissive expression of not wanting to take responsibility for things potentially worth 50 megawatts.