Guide To Walking Behind A Reversing Car Like A Big Fucking Eejit

HAVE you ever seen a car moving in a backwards motion and thought ‘I’d love to just walk out in front of that car like a big fucking eejit’? Neither have we, but WWN has created a guide on how to do it anyway in the hopes natural selection will one day curb our ever spiralling population.

Location is everything with this feat so we would suggest finding a nice busy supermarket car park to target. Multi Storey car parks are not as good as people are a lot more cautious so if you can find a flat car park like a Tesco or a Lidl you’re sure to score.

We would also suggest waiting for days with poor visibility where the car windows fog up easy and people are in more of a rush to get home.

Once the location and climate is perfect, you need to search for cars parked facing in, so the back is out on the road area of the car park. Remember, white lights mean the car is in reverse. The second big giveaway is the fact the car is moving in a backwards motion, as opposed to a frontwards motion. NOTE: Never walk out in front of a frontwards motion car as the driver will only see you and stop, ruining your little surprise.

Now, once happy you’ve spotted a car in a reversing motion, calmly walk right in its fucking way. Seriously, don’t think about this, just do it. It’s up to the driver to stop moving, not you, even though you’re on the road area and shouldn’t be there and the driver won’t have a leg to stand on in court. NOTE: you may also not have a leg to stand on following this, but that’s a more literal thing than legal.

No matter what the outcome, whether you’ve been hit, run over, or the driver seen you in time, just stare at them like they’re the ones who are in the wrong, and not you for basically walking in front of a moving vehicle.

You’re welcome.