Local Man Too Hungry To Chance The Falafel


A FAMISHED Waterford man currently trying to decide what to eat for lunch has confirmed he is actually “too hungry” to try the Falafel, but promised to make the decision to eat one someday, just not today.

Mark Ryan, 44, who could probably do with losing a few pounds now that he thinks about it, has instead opted for the lasagne and chips option on the menu, based on the fact that he knows exactly what it will taste like.

“Better the devil you know. If I buy that falafel thing for six euro and I don’t like it then that’s a waste of six euro, and I’ll be starving by 3 o’clock,” Ryan debated with himself, “yeah, sure, I’ll probably get the slump after this pasta and fried potato, but at least I won’t be left in work hungry”.

Ryan later admitted to wanting to try the falafel, a mysterious food from a far off land, for the past few years, knowing the patty made from ground chickpeas is a very popular lunch item for many health fanatics, due to its vegetarian only content, but has just never gotten around to it yet.

“There’s no meat in it and it’s nearly 600 calories, so fuck that,” Ryan told himself again, desperately seeking solace, “at least with the lasagna option, there’s a spoon full of rocket and coleslaw that will cancel out all that salty, carby badness”.