It’s The DWWNWCRU (Daily WWN World Cup Round Up)


Portugal defender Pepe is hopeful of someday learning to walk again after a horrific injury suffered in the match against Morocco.

“It was like the force of 1,000 atomic bombs had visited my shoulder but I vow to walk again,” Pepe said of the shocking attack.

Ronaldo scored the decisive header in the game but his overall stats were disappointing as he managed just 5 winks to opponents during the match, down from 47 in the Spain game.

The game, refereed by American Mark Geiger was attended by 10,000 soccer mad Americans who were there to cheer on their man serving as further evidence that some Americans have a long way to go to grasping soccer.

Concern has been expressed after the public continues to be exposed to that Maroon 5 Hyundai ad, so far, 10,323 people have gone insane. Worryingly over 55,000 people said they were over one more ad viewing away from going full Michael Douglas in Falling Down.

All referees officiating at the World Cup have admitted to pranking football fans into becoming enraged by refusing to give any player a yellow card, no matter how ridiculous their diving is.

There was much debate about Ronaldo’s new goatee but the star cleared things up by confirming it is a nod to his idol Wes, who is currently sporting a similar goatee in the Love Island villa.

Over RTÉ sports scientists have confirmed that were Brian Kerr’s football knowledge be transferred to hard drives it would require a 10,000,000gb of storage capacity. It’s not all fun and games however as Kevin Doyle poked his eyes out after being forced to face watching a second laboured Uruguay performance.

The official FIFA match report for the Uruguay Saudi Arabia game simply read “well that was fucking awful”.

In the evening game Spain took on Iran and a crowd who tried to deafen the world with their use of vuvuzelas.

Despite the winner being credited to Diego Costa, own goal remains a transfer target for Real, Barca and Bayern as the profilic performer continues to look lethal in front of goal.

Iran had a goal ruled out after the referee consulted VAR, yet again vindicating its implementation during the tournament. The huge positives so far make a massive VAR cock up in the dying moments of the world cup final all the more likely.

FIFA president Gianni Infantino was spotted in the crowd at the trial of disgraced Anglo banker David Drumm, when asked why he was there he denied he was taking notes on how to be corrupt.