‘Traffic Disruption’ Warning For Dublin To Be Made Permanent


DUBLIN motorists have been advised that the latest traffic disruption warning for the city is to be made permanent, and that commuters should expect severe delays forever.

Fed up issuing a daily warning, An Garda Síochána tweeted that a full-time disruption warning has been put in place as of 9am this morning.

The permanent warning has been endorsed by Dublin City Council and other authorities whose regular closure of roads for 7 weeks to fix a pothole also contributes to the city’s roads becoming one giant car park.

“Expect traffic delays for the rest of your miserable lives,” the tweet read from the Garda’s official Twitter page, “just take it from now that there will always be delays of 1-4 hours due to a minor crash on the M50. Thanks”.

The new measure means that commuters should allow for an extra hour or two to their journeys and to get used to that as being the normal, everyday thing.

“We’ll probably lift it once flying cars are invented,” the Garda Twitter account replied to a query about when they expect the warning to be lifted, “or when teleportation is a thing, we’d guess around the 22nd century some time. But you’ll all be dead by then after spending half your time on the planet parked up on the M50”.