Revealed: Complete List Of Superheroes Confirmed For Avengers 3

IT’S almost upon us – the superhero movie to end all superhero movies, the culmination of over a decade of universe building… Marvel Studio’s Avengers: Infinity War, the third chapter in the long-running team-up saga that has changed the face of blockbuster cinema as we know it.

But who all is togging out for the universe-shaking smash-up? We’ve had a look at the trailer, and here’s who we spotted.

Iron Man

The one who kicked it all off over ten years ago, Robert Downey Jnr. returns once again as billionaire genius Tony Stark.

Captain America

Chris Evans dons the uniform one more time to play Captain America!

The space lads

From the space movie. Guardians of the Galaxy. We didn’t really care for that one, saw a bit of it on a plane once and that was about it. We hope they’re not a huge part of this movie, or we’ll be really lost.

Batman

We’re fairly sure we saw Batman or a Batman-style bat man in there.

Sherlock Holmes as a wizard

Again, we didn’t see the movie that Benedict Cumberbatch is in, which is kinda worrying because he’s all over this trailer. Looks like we might have to do some serious homework if we hope to know what’s going on here.

Spider-Man

Wait, Spider-man is in this? When the fuck did that happen? Worse again, it doesn’t seem to be Tobey Maguire or Andrew Garfield… just so we’re clear, it’s a third, unrelated Spider-man? Okay, so.

Chris Hemsworth

We got a bit confused looking at the IMDB page, because we thought Chris Hemsworth was Captain America. No, that’s Chris Evans. Not to be mistaken with Chris Pratt, who is also in this. So, that’s three white good-looking lads called Chris in the one movie. Forgive us if we’re a bit confused. Chris Pine, Captain Kirk, is not in this movie. We think. We’re honestly not sure at this stage.

The Incredible Hulk

OK, so it turns out that the Spider-man up there was introduced in Captain America 3, which we were certain that we seen, but it turns out we saw Captain America 2, with the Winter Soldier (who is also in this). So that means we’re way, way off the pace when it comes to this story. We need to watch at least 19 hours of superhero movies between now and the end of March if we want to even have a slight fucking clue as to what’s going on. Still, there’s the Incredible Hulk. At least we fucking know that guy.

Women

We counted two

Paul Bettany

Ah, here, we give up.

Avengers: Infinity War hits screens in April and we suggest you start studying now, because that’s what going to the cinema these days requires.