Government Urges Victims Of Paedophile Bill Kenneally To Take A Ticket & Wait

VICTIMS of paedophile sports coach Bill Kenneally were today advised by the government to take a number and wait at a newly erected ticket dispenser in Waterford city, WWN has learned.

Responding to concerns over a delay in setting up the proposed inquiry into how the case was handled by State agencies, Taoiseach Leo Varadkar insisted the new ticket system is the first major step in the inquiry, pointing to how well it works for other government departments.

“We have ticket systems in place for the social welfare, tax office, and health board, so it only makes sense to set one up for victims of sexual abuse,” he said, “obviously a first come, first heard strategy may not work in this instance, so we have instead marked tickets with a year of the abuse, starting from 1979, and not just some random number in a queue. You’re welcome”.

The probe, which was promised last year, will finally expose the organisations which knew, but did nothing about, the sexual torture of some 100 boys suffered at the hands of Bill Kenneally, however, this has now been delayed because of fresh allegations against him, or some other excuse like that.

“If new cases would stop coming forward, that would be great,” Minister for Justice Charlie Flanagan advised, “the Justice Department is incapable of processing more than one thing at once, and if we get confused at all we have to start the whole thing over again”.

Despite his long reign of terror and the complaints made against him, Kenneally was only convicted in 2016 and sentenced to 14 years behind bars.