God Latest Figure Implicated In Sexual Harassment Scandals


GOD ALMIGHTY is just the latest figure who stands accused of using his powerful position to corner and harass a significantly younger woman, WWN can report.

‘Everybody was aware of it’, ‘his reputation was well documented’, ‘many people confirmed it with vague innuendos over the years’, ‘many people will feel complicit now the truth is out’, the sad and depressing phrases which have come to characterise and define the aftermath of allegations against many prominent and famous men in recent weeks. These words and phrases have once again been trotted out as the biggest name yet has been implicated in a scandal; God Himself.

“It’s an all too familiar story; a young woman and a man in a position of power forcing himself on her. The fact the resulting child is our Lord and Saviour doesn’t change that fact,” shared one victim advocate, who spoke out for ‘Joanne’, the victim, who’s name has been changed to protect her identity.

“You could argue God is the biggest name so far to be accused of sexual harassment and much worse, even if he hasn’t won an Oscar. It’s no wonder society’s attitude to women is highly questionable if this is the example that was being set by God,” one media expert confirmed to WWN.

Much of the speculation around the incident is how, if at all, God can possibly recover his reputation after such an incident.

“God, being the Creator and Heavenly Father, has in the past fended off attention from many young and enthusiastic women, too many for Him to remember on an individual basis. This is an incident which is alleged to have happened over 2,000 years ago, but God is sorry for any pain this woman could have possibly felt, even if He does not personally recall the incident in question,” a PR representative for God explained in a statement issued earlier today that has gone on to receive plenty of criticism.

Despite growing pressure from the public, there has been no indication yet that God will be removed from his position as CEO of Heaven.

Unconfirmed reports circulated on online forums such as Reddit and 4chan have suggested that the allegations are even more sordid than first reported as it has been heavily implied the victim is the Mother of God Himself.