President Higgins Visits Ancestral Homeplace


THERE were emotional scenes in New Zealand today after Irish president Michael D. Higgins visited his ancestral home of Hobbiton, located on the north island of the country.

Higgins took time out of his presidential tour to visit the hills and valleys of his forefathers, with eye-witnesses claiming that the visit was full of emotion as the president learned about the history of his people.

After the natives of Hobbiton presented him with a cask of ale, a pipe full of dubious tobacco and a mysterious envelope containing a magical ring, Higgins took part in some traditional Hobbiton activities, such as drinking ale, smoking dubious tobacco, and performing incredible vanishing tricks with the help of the magical ring.

“We let him know that he will always be welcome here,” said Edie Sackville-Higgins, a distant relative of the president.

“The Higgins’ left these lands hundreds of years ago, and they really seem to have done very well for themselves. We’re delighted that Michael took time out of his busy schedule to come and visit us, and we hope that he agrees to help us rid these lands from the treacherous evil that spreads from the east, threatening to blanket this world in darkness for an eternity”.

Following his adventures in Hobbiton, Higgins will embark on a journey to defeat a dragon sleeping inside a mountain, although this trip will not be half as entertaining or popular.