Dad To Spend Next 30 Years Closing Doors In House


WATERFORD parent Sean Fallon has resigned himself to the fact that the next thirty years of his life will be spent running around the three-bedroom house closing over doors that were left open by his wife Rebecca and their son James.

James, who recently learned to tiptoe up enough to open the handle of a door, has begun to leave doors open almost as much as his mother does, allowing the free flow of cold air and wasted light from one room through to the next.

Having spent the last week bustling around the house closing door after door, 39-year-old Sean has admitted exclusively to WWN that this is his life, from now on.

“As much as my wife and child enjoy leaving doors open and living in a house that’s full of drafts, I love keeping doors closed and being cosy” said Fallon, closing all the upstairs doors after his wife had gone upstairs to get just one thing.

“When the people at work ask me, how was my weekend, that’s what I’ll tell them from now on. I spent the weekend closing over doors, like the Greek lad pushing the rock up the hill, except with a toddler and a wife who don’t seem to grasp the concept that we don’t live in a house where this shit happens automatically”.

Fallon has been commended for his efforts at closing doors, but criticised for leaving the bathroom door open while he’s on the toilet.