Freshers Week: 5 Ways To Embarrass Yourself In Front Of Everyone
THE excitement of starting third level education can often get the better of people, with countless students using Freshers Week to cause irreparable harm to their social standing amongst their peers, and somehow ending up with the harmless nickname ‘Naked dude who thought he was a bowl of cereal and started screaming “I am corn flakes, pour your milk on me” in the middle of the quad”‘.
However, there are many lucky and/or responsible first years who have no idea how to partake in behaviour so embarrassing and so harmful to hopes of being one of the cool people in college that they immediately drop out. Don’t fret, WWN is on hand to help you navigate Freshers Week in an effort to ensure everyone in your class avoids eye contact with you for the next 3 to 4 years.
Drink far too much alcohol
While drinking water is relatively problem free, there is something called ‘alcohol’ which could prove a little more tricky to consume. But, if you’re looking to embarrass yourself, then alcohol is your only man. Are you of small, medium or large frame? Honestly, it doesn’t matter, you’ll surprise everyone with the volume of vomit leaving your mouth that any Snapchats taken of the incident will remain etched on everyone’s mind for the duration of college. Who knows, you could even gain the nickname ‘Vomitron 3000’.
Okay let’s see how this goes
The sensible ones among you are already muttering ‘Jesus Christ, what a terrible idea’ and yes, it is a terrible idea if you don’t plan on embarrassing yourself. However, this is Freshers Week and all those hormones are flying around like unnamed airplanes hurtling towards the ground, the adrenaline is coursing through your veins in a way that would make cocaine blush. Oh, oh, oh we should do cocaine!
While we’re aware that there is no karaoke taking place during Freshers Week your drunk self is not so up to speed on such things, which is why you’re clutching the 40 free pens you got from banks trying to get you to open an account with them and singing ‘Shape of You’ in what you think is a sexy whisper but is in fact an unattractive wailing. And yup, someone is live streaming this on Facebook as we speak.
Shit, you’re on Buzzfeed
If you had been told at the start of the week that you were about to become an internet meme you’d have been delighted. However, the meme in question is known as ‘Guy wearing a breakfast roll as underwear’ so strap in, this is going to a long four years in college.
No, this is our first time to A&E too
It’s amazing, isn’t it? Everyone goes on about how long the queues and waiting times in Irish hospital are, but once the nurse saw where that traffic cone was protruding out of you saw a doctor right away.