There Probably Won’t Be A Nuclear War, Confirms Local Taxi Driver


THOSE expressing alarm about the escalating tensions between the United States and North Korea have been urged to ‘chillax their kacks’ by one Dublin taxi driver, who has made assurances that a nuclear exchange between the two countries is unlikely to happen.

Finbar Callaghan, 57, firmly expressed his beliefs that a nuclear conflict won’t happen during a 20-minute mytaxi journey from Dame Street to Harold’s Cross last night, which we wouldn’t have thought would be so expensive but there you go.

“Yeah it’s all just a load of talk,” confirmed Callaghan, who has a PHD in taxi politics.

“It’s just your man trying to act all big and brash so that his people don’t see him as weak, and the Koreans are doing the same as well”.

But what about North Korea’s latest statement, in which they express their plans to fire 4 missiles into the water surrounding Guam, home to a US military base in the Pacific, in the next week, we asked.

“Ah yeah but they probably won’t do that, sure they won’t,” stated the grandfather of 29, while messing around with his sat-nav in heavy traffic.

“Sure they don’t have the missiles or the technology to aim them properly. It’ll be sound, I’ve seen this all before”.

Now far more relaxed that we won’t all be killed in a nuclear fire sometime before Halloween, we thanked Mr. Callaghan and left the taxi before he spotted that our curry chips had leaked onto the back seat.