Parents To Spend Day Calculating What A H6 Is in ‘Real Results’


AS students across Ireland prepare for a night of celebrations after receiving their Leaving Cert results, baffled parents have taken to the internet in a bid to understand the new grading system, so that they can work out exactly how their children have fared.

The old ‘A1-D3’ system of grading the Leaving Cert has been completely overhauled this year, and replaced with a system that the Department Of Education has stressed will be fairer and more accurate, easing the ‘points race’ for stressed students.

However the new system has left parents dumbfounded, after their kids informed them of their results by text or by a hurried phone call in which they didn’t pause to explain how exactly they really fared.

“My young lad got four ordinary H6’s, a H3 in higher English and two higher H7’s, and I haven’t a fucking clue if he’s a genius or a dunce,” confirmed one confused Waterford father, using the internet for the first time.

“Did he get 400 points? Did he get 50 points? The Department should know that parents wouldn’t have a clue what was going on at all, and sent us out a leaflet or a booklet or something, so we would be able to convert back to real results and know if our kids are after throwing their lives away or not.”

Attempts to discuss the meaning of the new grading system with their kids have had mixed results, with most Leaving Cert students already at least two naggins deep into a session.