Tipperary Man’s DNA Found To Be 57% Quarter Pounder Meal And A Coke


DNA EXPERTS were said to be left baffled this week after a county Tipperary man’s DNA makeup came back with a result of 57% quarter pounder meal with a coke.

Patrick Maher, a bachelor who drives tractors for a living for a local farm, originally sent in a test cheek sample over two months ago in a bid to confirm his ancestral lineage. However, following a series of tests, results showed that Maher’s genes were over half quarter pounder meal and a coke, with no onions on the burger.

Speaking from his home in Thurles, Maher admitted to regularly eating exactly that, proving the age old term ‘you are what you eat’.

“I’d have it in the evening, sure, after I finish work,” he explained, wiping a dollop of mayonnaise from his chin,”I don’t cook for myself. So I tends ta eat out a lot before I go for me few pints.

“Sometimes I’d have another quarter pounder meal with a coke on the way home as well, so I’m not really surprised by the results,” he added.

Along with being 57% quarter pounder meal with a coke, with no onions on the burger, Maher was surprised to see he was also 4% curry sauce.

“Ah Jaysis, I need to cut down on the auld drink, wouldn’t know what exotic shite you’d be ordering when yar pissed,” he said.

Researchers point out that Maher is one of a growing number of men in Ireland who are ‘part take-away meal’, but Patrick has so far been the highest content subject they have seen since records began.