Country Starting To Suspect Fianna Fail Are Up To Something Sneaky


THERE is a growing sense of dread among the Irish population that Fianna Fail ‘may be up to something’, with fears mounting that they might be gearing up for an election, or some other sneaky underhand shit the country has no desire for.

Whispers and sideways-glances exchanged between party members in recent weeks have helped fuel speculation that the current opposition may be about to rain all over new Taoiseach Leo Varadkar’s parade, with recent poll data suggesting that they have gained enough support in recent times to mount a decent campaign against Fine Gael.

Combined with footage of FF leader Michael Martin performing an elaborate series of nose-taps, ear-pulls and other hand gestures to his fellow ministers at a recent meeting, the public have started to brace themselves for another year of political fucking-around.

“It’s been just over a year since the last general election, and you can just tell that FF are up to something” said one political spectator we spoke to during half-time at an under-21s junior B championship match in Carlow.

“You can see them there, assuring the country that they have no desire to call a general election, while at the same time they’re buying up every cable tie in the country for putting posters on telegraph poles. Just watch them, you couldn’t be up to them fuckers so you couldn’t”.

Meanwhile, Leo Varadkar has been unavailable for comment, but sources have leaked that he is currently stomping around his office griping about how ‘they couldn’t even give me a year”.