Playground Study Confirms Girls Are Gross


THE final playground poll of the school year conducted among boys aged 5-9 has found once again that girls are gross, WWN can exclusively confirm.

The findings come as primary schools across the country prepare to finish up the term and break for summer, and confirms yet again what is on the minds of young boys; playing, running around, and staying away from girls because yuck.

A staggering 95% of the boys polled placed girls in the same level of grossness as worms and dead birds, with many stating that they will never, ever, ever, ever, ever get married or settle down with a smelly girl.

The poll, conducted year-on-year to gauge playground sentiment, showed little to no increase in the amount of young boys who think girls are nice, leading experts to believe that the age-old mistrust and trepidation found between boys and girls of that age is not going anywhere anytime soon.

“Girls? Bleauch. No way” confirmed Alex Gannihan, 7, when polled at his Waterford primary school while on little break.

“I have a sister and she’s so annoying, just like all other girls. Yuck. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some running around and shouting to do, then I have to get back to class for colouring-in”.

Gannihan then ran off, making the noise of a motorbike.