Local Woman To Mention Eating Avocados In Desperate Bid To Appear Cool
AN increasingly desperate Waterford based woman, who is in a continual search for ways to sound cool has turned to avocados in her latest bid to draw out some praise from her peers.
Ciara Scally (24) has become increasingly aware in recent months of her inability to leave a lasting impression on the many cool and trendy people she encounters in daily life, prompting the research assistant to move on from talking about the gym and focus full time on detailing her love for avocado based salads.
Leaning on the influential powers of noted ‘super food’, Scally has mentioned the fact she eats it regularly in the hope that such a confession passes for interesting conversation among the ranks of vapid and narcissistic people she wishes to be part of.
“I just try to casually work it into conversation, you know, so they’ll all be thinking ‘holy shit, this bitch don’t mess about. Avocados…for lunch? It doesn’t get any cooler than that’, but I’m not sure it’s working,” shared Scally.
Despite the concerted effort by Scally to ingratiate herself with people by detailing her tales of avocado consumption, it appears to be a fruitless endeavour thus far.
“I dunno, I mentioned to the cool crowd at work that I ate like 5 of them yesterday for dinner, but they just interrupted me to talk about how they ate ‘like 6 of them’. I just don’t think I can be as effortlessly cool as them,” Scally confessed.
UPDATE: Jeremy in HR has now been crowned the coolest person in the office after confessing to eating 7 donut-avocados with quinoa while working out.