Huge Step Forward In Irish Politics As Government Minister Gets His Local Garda Station Reopened


A TIMELY reminder that Irish politics has made huge strides since the days of parish pump politics has come in the form of Minister for Transport Shane Ross successfully reopening his local garda station in exchange for not completely pulling his support for the government.

The previous era of parish pump politics, dominated by decisions made for the benefit of TDs seeking reelection with no thought for the benefit of long term planning for the wider Irish society, had seen politicians carefully disguising their cynical political ploys for votes.

However, with the advent of the ‘confidence and supply’ era of politics, TDs and Ministers are now free to openly advertise how they secured a local favour from the government in an effort to secure some precious votes.

“It’s a massive step forward, we can all cut the bullshit now, we’re just here to get reelected,” confirmed one TD WWN spoke with.

“It’s such a relief, you used to have to jump through so many hoops and pretend like you were a TD in a parliament supposed to form policy for the nation as a whole. Now, thanks to people like Shane Ross, we can just say ‘sorry I’m here to get that thing sorted so I can get elected again’,” added another TD.

This new era of naked self-advancement at the expense of oh, who cares has officially replaced the era of ‘new politics’ which saw parties and politicians pretend like everything was different and the days of sly deals were a thing of the past.

“All I know is that when I have the government by the balls on something, I could ask for them to really address to homeless crisis, but I’ll probably just do something that gets me a vote or two with my local constituents,” confirmed another TD.

Minister Ross was unavailable for comment regarding the fact he is Minister for Transport, and would neither confirm nor deny he knows what a bus is.