Melania Trump Moves Into Specially Designed ‘Donald Trump Proof’ White House Bedroom


AS NEWS of Melania Trump’s official move into the White House today spreads, fresh reports have detailed the First Lady’s specific living arrangements as she seeks to Donald Trump-proof her bedroom.

Reportedly splashing out upwards of $4 million dollars to renovate and alter her living quarters, the world’s leading interior designers and security experts have created a bedroom which will make it next to impossible for the President to enter.

“There is absolutely no phone signal, 3/4G reception and the Wi-Fi doesn’t work in the bedroom, so without the ability to tweet it’s likely the President will never set foot in the bedroom,” confirmed interior designer Millie Fortuna.

“Additionally, the only TV stations Melania can get on her TV are ones that specialise in documentaries on American history. With this in mind, I really don’t see the need for the additional security measures, but that was a decision Melania herself made,” Fortuna added.

With the prospect of now being in close proximity to her husband at all times, Melania Trump is said to have left nothing to chance in her attempts to restrict the President’s ability to interact with her.

“There is a one of a kind finger print reader and pass code mounted to the door, which only accepts Melania’s finger print and only she knows the pass code,” explained security systems expert Roger Petterssonson.

“If the President somehow bypassed all this, there is still a ‘hand reader’, which has a minimum hand size requirement for the final authorisation. It requires a hand size of an average 10-year-old or higher in order to gain access, so she should be safe,” added Petterssonson.

The final hurdle, insisted upon by the First Lady, is a basic quiz on foreign policy with near-impossible questions such as ‘what country is your wife from?’ and ‘what is her middle name?’