“Fuck It, We’re Going To Mars,” Artemis Crew Decide To Keep On Going

THE crew of Artemis have confirmed they are simply going to keep going while they’re at it and are now on a heading for Mars.

The four astronauts, currently carrying out NASA’s first lunar flyby in more than half a century and travelling further from Earth than any humans before them, reportedly said “fuck it, we’re going to Mars” before abruptly changing course.

“Look guys, things aren’t looking too great back home so we decided to just keep on trucking,” said Mission Specialist Christina Koch, promising to keep Earth updated as they make their way to the red planet.

NASA has urged the crew to reconsider, noting there is not enough fuel or oxygen to survive the six-month detour. However, the astronauts insisted they would prefer to remember Earth the way it was, citing escalating tensions in the Middle East and the potential onset of a wider global conflict.

“We’ll take our chances up here.” said Canadian astronaut Colonel Jeremy Hansen. before signing off. “If we can get another couple of weeks out of not having to hear or see Donald Trump, then I think it’s totally worth it. You guys take care now.”