The Horrific Moment An Unemployed Man Is Told There’s No More Boxes Of Amber Leaf


FOR local man David Williams, dole day is usually spent getting groceries, paying bills and purchasing his weekly supply of Tobacco from his local supermarket.

However, today, Monday the 29th of may 2017, an unprepared Mr Williams was met with a great big “no” from the till operator after asking for a seven euro box of amber leaf.

“She said they didn’t sell them anymore and that the next best thing was a 30gram pouch,” Williams explained, now desperately searching the supermarket car park for cigarette butts, “what kind of sick bastards would string you along like that for years and then stop without warning? This is classism at its finest!”.

It is understood the 12.5 gram boxes have been discontinued in a government bid to clamp down on the number of smokers avoiding ‘real fags’ which generate a lot more revenue than the cheaper, hand-made option.

“Poor people shouldn’t be smoking anyway,” a government spokesperson told WWN, “seeing a dole claimant rolling their own is very disheartening to those of us who are working hard and able to buy proper smokes. Those boxes were cheating the system and we’ll probably get rid of those bigger pouches too”.

Meanwhile, David Williams has since gone splitsies with a friend on a big pouch of Drum.

“I wanted Amber Leaf but I was twenty cents short on the split as they don’t give free skins with it, so my mate insisted on getting drum,” he said, now desperately rolling a fat one, “if they get rid of the big pouches then I’ll have no other option but to buy black market L&Ms from the lad in the Polish shop. The shits like sawdust, but it will do”.

More as we get it