Dublin Man Down The Country For A Few Days Condescending To Everyone He Meets


A DUBLIN man, who has found himself with reason to be outside Dublin in the ‘country’ area of Ireland, has spent the last few days speaking condescendingly to everyone he meets.

Succonded to his sales firm’s Cork office for several days of training, Jack Kinsella has spoken at and down to many people he has met but never with them, as he has deemed himself above the simple pleasures and whims of his perception of country life.

“Ha, when did you lot get a McDonald’s? 2015? Welcome to the future lads. Gas,” Kinsella shared with peers in the Cork office, wryly observing that the simple folk of ‘not Dublin’ were beginning to enjoy the sophisticated and metropolitan spoils he had long taken for granted in the Nation’s capital.

Unaware that he was quickly grating on everyone within a 12-mile radius, Kinsella extended his condescension to non-work colleagues as he sought ways to wind down in the evenings.

“What do you lot do for fun down here? Any chance there is a céilí going on in a farmer’s barn or something,” Kinsella inquired of a barmaid in a pub just off Patrick’s Street in Cork City, “ah no seriously though, d’ya find the air is fresher down here or something, it is, isn’t it? That’s great for you lot”.

Coming around to the vastly different ways of doing things in the country, Kinsella grew fond of the way the people went to work and did their jobs, in an identical way to people in Dublin.

“Just a different way of life down here, and I don’t mean that in a bad way necessarily, like,” Kinsella mused, condescending to his coworkers one last time.