Local Prick Of A Barista Calls His Coffees ‘Art’

AFTER receiving a half-hearted compliment from a woman grabbing her morning coffee in a rush, Waterford barista Nevin O’Dowd was overheard by customers in Bean There, Done That cafe admitting that what he does is ‘basically art’.

Despite not being encouraged to expand on his initial statement by the woman who just wanted to get her latte and get to work, O’Dowd spoke at length about how he was relieved his genius was finally being recognised.

“It’s easy to dismiss, but I work in much the same way as a painter or a sculptor and hey, thanks for noticing,” O’Dowd said of the latte, which had the look of a poorly rendered penis drawing or something.

Buoyed by his ascension into the ranks of artistic greats such as Picasso, Michelangelo and Dali, O’Dowd continued to serve customers ensuring to take upwards of 2 minutes to apply the finishing touches to any latte ordered.

“We don’t call them lattes anymore, you’ll be wanting the ‘art infused latte’,” O’Dowd explained to one customer, who just wanted a cappuccino to go, but was instead forced to endure a running commentary on the artistic complexities of adding milk to coffee.

“I’ve said it before, it’s not a drink, it’s an experience. Just like everything in life, and it’s not something you can teach, art, you’re basically born with the talent or you’re not,” confirmed the insufferable prick.