Ireland Fastest Growing EU Economy 4th Year In A Row, Reads Homeless Man


A DUBLIN based homeless man has discovered that Ireland is the fastest growing economy in the EU for an impressive 4th year in a row, after catching sight of the front pages of national newspapers as he was escorted out of a newsagents on Nassau Street.

Declan Cannon, who has resided on a nearby curb for much of the last 8 months had little time to celebrate the good news as he was shouted at by staff to leave the premises, as the 8.45am take-away coffee rush was in full swing.

The bright economic forecast, predicted by Davy Stockbrokers, will come as a relief to the government as they continue to trumpet the recovery which has benefitted almost everyone in the country.

“Ah, here, we told you the same yesterday, C’mon. Out, don’t be causing trouble,” Cannon was told by an irritated staff member who didn’t have the time to count out the change the homeless man was probably going to fork over for a BLT sandwich.

Had Cannon been allowed purchase his sandwich, he would have been part of the predicted increase in consumer confidence and spending as the economy is set to grow by as much as 5% this year, far exceeding the EU average of 1.7%.

However, it is not all bad news for Cannon as employment is expected to grow by as much as 2.8% in 2017.

Meanwhile, it is unclear if positive economic forecasts are as unreliable as government statistics on new housing and social welfare frauds are.