Kid Not Buying Bullshit ‘Because I Said So’ Routine From Mother


A SEEMINGLY WATERTIGHT argument made by a Waterford mother has been exposed as nothing more than ‘an irrational claim which contains within it no supporting evidence of any repute’ by her child, WWN can report.

Conor Goggans, a non-adult, had been playing with his Lego collection, making loud plane and explosion noises for just 49 minutes when his mother, Orlaith Goggans interjected and requested he put a stop to his destruction of a small town populated by Marvel action figures.

The 5-year-old, confused as to what he had done wrong, queried his mother’s disciplinary action with the words ‘ but why’ on the 47 occasions after Orlaith delivered what she presumed to be the fairly compelling argument of ‘because I said so’.

“I call bullshit,” Conor explained to WWN after his mother raised her voice and said ‘because I said so’ in a manner which suggested she thought she had made herself fairly clear, before then packing away the majority of Conor’s toys into a toy box.

“There is a basic logical fallacy, and she can say it as much as she likes, she’s only making a fool of herself. Poor woman isn’t making any bollocking sense at all,” Conor continued, admitting that he would be willing to suspend all playing activities provided his mother could muster an argument that didn’t have such obvious holes in it.

Orlaith for her part, denied claims that she was hungover after a girl’s night out and was in the middle of binge watching Peaky Blinders and could do with a bit of peace and quiet, instead sticking to her original explanation of ‘because I said so’.

“Like, what does that even fucking me, epistemology wise?” her son shared, casting doubt over the relevance of her authority, which the Waterford woman insisted she possessed and could enact simply because she was Conor’s mother.