Calls For Taoiseach To ‘Take Out Trump’ On St. Patrick’s Day Visit


RENEWED calls have been made for Taoiseach Enda Kenny to ‘take out Donald Trump’ on Saint Patrick’s day at the White House while presenting the American President with a bowl of shamrock, WWN can confirm.

Enda Kenny is facing increasing pressure to assassinate Mr Trump by any means necessary on March 17th, and in taking such action he would ensure he becomes a national hero and the soundest Taoiseach that ever lived.

“Secret service wouldn’t think of searching him and he could easily strap on one of those suicide vests handy enough,” one supporter of the assassination plot explains,”pack that bowl of shamrock with some Semtex underneath and Bob’s your uncle. It’s the least he could do now that he’s stepping down as Taoiseach; go out with a bang”.

Republican pyrotechnic experts confirmed that as much as 4Ibs of C4 could be hidden in the shamrock bowl, enough to take out Pence and several other members of his estranged cabinet, if detonated at the right time.

“Mr. Kenny’s martyrdom would go down in history as one of the bravest decisions any politician ever made,” another man told WWN, “sure what age is he now, mid-sixties? What has he to look forward to being an ex-Taoiseach? Join a few boards as a money grabbing director, give and aul talk for silly money here and there, this plan would make him a global hero and he should definitely consider it”.

In response to the radical requests, Mr. Kenny confirmed that he will take out Mr. Trump

“Of course I’ll take him out, it’s important for Irish businesses and the economy to wine, dine and lick the president’s arse, which I hear he’s into, by the way”.