Michael Flynn Resigns After Tendering Resignation To Vladimir Putin

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OUTGOING US National Security Adviser to Vladimir Putin, Michael Flynn, has vacated his position after his resignation was accepted by the Russian PM, WWN has learned.

Flynn, an integral part of the Trump administration, was forced to resign after his discussions with the Russian ambassador to the US about easing sanctions on the country before Flynn took up his role. Evidence of the conversations were uncovered by US intelligence officials after Flynn’s insistence to Vice President Mike Pence that he had done no such thing.

“This is a disappointment,” Putin conceded in a media address in Russia, “we will rely more heavily on codename Agent Orange now. He is not as bright, but he is needed,” Putin added, alluding to yet another person in a top position of the US government who is willing to help Russia in any way he can.

Putin then ordered his most trusted female prostitutes to get their passports and to begin drinking litres upon litres of water as their ‘talents would be needed soon’.

It is believed Flynn’s resignation was first accepted by Vladimir Putin days ago, who then instructed Steve Bannon to also accept it who in turn permitted US President Donald Trump to accept it too.

The resignation of Flynn amid a cloud of controversy is the first blow to President Trump, who has conducted himself flawlessly since taking office in January.

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