“Stop Adding Me To Fucking Whatsapp Groups” Local Man Pleads

A LOCAL MAN has been forced to issue a plea after being added to a 79th pointless Whatsapp group this week, WWN can confirm.

Andrew Boland (29) is an avid user of the popular messenger app, but has been inundated with messages from increasingly superfluous and inane groups which if given the choice he would have never joined.

“You don’t have a choice, any one of your friends can add you, it’s getting too much, you don’t need 6 separate groups called ‘Pints?’ I’m drowning in a sea of thumbs up emojis,” explained the accountant, who has better things to be doing than responding to incessant group chatter.

Several friends, concerned by Boland’s reluctance to respond to messages, have set up an additional group entitled ‘Andrew, Pints?’ to ensure their friend is getting all the messages from the 163 groups he is part of.

“Yeah, it’s all anyone can talk about in the ‘Why Won’t Andrew Respond?’ group,” shared one friend, Gavin, who felt compelled to set up a separate group, which Andrew is not part of, to discuss why Andrew contributes so few messages to existing groups.

“Want to go for pints, just fucking text me, just me like, no need for a big group yoke. Why the 27 bloody groups?” an increasingly angry Andrew explained, shortly before his phone vibrated with yet another message.

“Ah for fuck sake,” Andrew added after discovering he had been added to a ‘Travel plans in 2026?’, ‘Ciara’s Bday’, ‘Zebras are weird’, ‘Puppies’ and ‘Pints again?’ Whatsapp groups.