Apple Offer Ireland Wireless Earphones In Place Of €13 Billion Tax Payment


THE government has praised Apple’s decision to refuse to pay €13 billion in back taxes owed to Ireland arising from a European Commission ruling and to instead gift the Nation a pair of shiny new wireless earphones.

“Frankly, I’m still trying to get my head around where you plug them into your phone if it doesn’t have a wire, but that’s for the big smart lads in Apple to worry about, not silly me,” shared Taoiseach Enda Kenny addressing the fact Apple will contend the €13 billion ruling given against them in court.

Previously, the government strongly denied it had offered ‘state aid’ to Apple, insisting that they were just ‘really good friends’.

“I’m a Nokia 3210 man myself, but I know plenty of people in Ireland will be immensely grateful for the gift, they’ll want to call it quits on the €13 billion I’d imagine,” the Taoiseach added before remarking he felt that with the arrival of wireless earphones it was like he was living in the future.

While the government hasn’t yet confirmed what it intends to do with the earphones, it is rumoured they will be passed on to members of the public, with everyone getting to use them for an entire day before passing them on again.

“So you just pop them into the old ear holes here, is it?” the Taoiseach asked an expert Apple earphone technician present at the media address shortly before a second pair was made available to the Fine Gael leader after he dropped the first pair losing them under a nearby table.