Carrigstown Residents Forced Out After RTÉ Sell To Vulture Fund

HARROWING scenes unfolded this morning as residents of the village of Carrigstown, located on the RTÉ Donnybrook campus, were evicted on foot of the town’s purchase by an American vulture fund.

A number of residents, whose mortgages were taken out with RTÉ have now been purchased by Phangs, an American based vulture fund, which is an offshoot of Not Phangs Inc, which is a subsidiary of an Isle of Man registered Also Not Phangs Corp.

“They can’t do this, can they? They barely gave us any notice,” Paul, one Carrigstown resident shared with us as he carried some of his belongings in a plastic bag while on his way to the home of one of his various mistresses, to pick up items of clothing he had left behind.

Many more local residents and business owners were seen leaving premises for the last time, much to the delight of Phangs, who will now sell the town on for a tidy profit.

“We got no warning, is this even legal? How can this be legal,” shared Damien, another resident who was left livid at being turfed out of his local, McCoys, before he had a chance to finish his pint.

RTÉ would not comment on the sale, however, sources close to the broadcaster suggest they sold the town for as little as 12 cent in a move similar to NAMA, despite the market value for the village being closer to €9 million.