Use Mouthwash Every Time After Saying ‘President Trump’, Americans Advised


LEADING hygienists have encouraged Americans to use only premium brand mouthwash on each and every occasion they find themselves using the word ‘President’ before the name ‘Trump’, in a bid to rid themselves of the bad taste it can leave in one’s mouth.

“The use of mouthwash after these instances should reduce the involuntary retching a lot of Americans are reportedly succumbing to after saying ‘President Trump’,” revealed US-based hygienist Lorna Andrews, shortly before gurgling on a 300 millilitre bottle of Listerine for several minutes.

“We would urge people as well to go back for seconds when it comes to mouthwash as you can never really rid yourself of the sour taste of uttering those words,” Andrews added.

The sales of mouthwash have increased by several thousand percent in recent hours, with pharmacies and supermarkets also reporting an uptake in people buying tongue scrapers.

“We’re all out of mouthwash and tongue scrapers, we’ve ordered more in, but if you’re in a real hurry you can always make some homebrew mouthwash,” explained pharmacist Clement Jones.

Public safety notices have been issued in several states as some over zealous individuals keen to scrub clean their memory of ever having said the words ‘President Trump’ have scraped away their tongues entirely.

“Will the aftertaste ever become palatable? No. Is the answer to scrub your mouth and tongue out so intensely that you risk wearing away your mouth to nothing? Possibly,” shared Dr. Andrea Bursonne, one doctor treating an increasing number of patients for ‘President Trump-uttering’ related injuries.